Rose tinted glasses went dark

Light keeps getting dimmer while you’re breaking my hart

You where amused from the start

Use me to boost your ego while you rip me apart

I was your muse for your greatest work of art

You painted right on the canvas how you would break my hart

To oblivious to see it

Guess I was having blurry visions with you and me in it

Act One (Vice)

Noir: She fucked my whole world up in a matter of months. I never knew that I could love so hard and then for it just to end out of nowhere left me asking why?

Interviwer: Did you ever get your answer?

Noir: No never I think because of that I slowly descended into drinking and smoking a lot more

Interviwer: was this how you would cope with the lost?

Noir: not sure if it was to cope or to build up courage 

Interviewer: courage?

Noir: to quit

Drink myself unconscious on the daily

1800 and jack hangovers no longer phase me

Demons constantly chase me yelling take another shot

One turns into ten now I’m having suicidal thoughts 

my inner voice said just do it you poser your life is already mediocre

Why risk the pain of living just to die slower

I grab a noose and beer I’m ashamed to die sober

It’ll all be done soon when I hang my self and life is over

Act Two (Testify)

Interviwer: You struggled with suicidal thoughts?

Noir: yeah I felt like I had no purpose anymore I dropped out of colloge, worked at a dead end job, and would spend all my money on drugs and alcohol hoping that would kill me instead of me having to take matters into my own hands.

Interviwer: Did you seek any rehab or professional help?

Noir: No instead of doing the logical thing I depend on religion to help me sort of my problems

Interviwer: would you say religion only made matters harder for you?

Noir: without a doubt in my mind it made things harder for me. How God can put someone through so much pain and I’m still supposed to have faith. I grew up in the church so I couldn’t understand why a child of god was being treated like nothing more than some orphan. I slowly started losing faith, hope, and eventually my sanity.

It seems like the good guy finished last again

I don’t have the balls to kill myself so fuck it you win

I’ll wait patiently until you deiced to stop being stubborn

God if you’re real then pleas out me six feet under

Until then I’ll commit more than 1,000 sins

Had a talk with my demons now were all are good friends 

Seen Jesus walking caught his bitch ass slipping again Put hands on that nigga then tell all his angels jump in

Act 3 Three (Psyche) Part One

Noir: A year went by and I was off the deep end. I brunt bridges I can’t rebuild, my close friends kept their distance from me, and I’m waking up in random peoples beds with a hangover. The only friend I had at the time asked if I’d be down to take some shrooms. It wasn’t something I’ve ever tried but I figured why not.

Interviwer: How was that experience? I’ve heard many stories about people’s trips and some say it changed their lives.

Noir:  it was intense I’ve never experienced anything like that before. I remember taking them in my room  and leaving a completely different person.

Interviwer: what ended up happening during the trip?

Act 3 (Psyche Part 2 ) Monolog

I remember crying for what felt like days all these feelings started to pour out of me it felt like a detox. I would go from happy to sad angry to calm in a matter of seconds. All of a sudden I felt a pulse go through my body and my room turned pitch black. All I hear is a clock and as each second went by the room would flash these beautiful images that I still can’t get out of my head. I sat in the corner of my room and admired every image as they pooped up my smile growing bigger because at that moment I felt like I found my purpose.

Final Act (dim light)

Interviwer: so this trip made you realize what you would ultimately end up perusing?

Noir: without a doubt I believe two weeks later I picked up my first camera.

Interviwer: what camera was it?

Noir: I bought a Canon T70 for eighty dollars of amazon it was by far the best money I ever spent. As soon as I put my eye through that view finder it gave me hope.

Interviwer: Hope for what exactly?

Noir: I hoped that instead of self-harm and coping with drugs that I can instead make beautiful images similar to the ones I saw during my trip.

Interviwer: you already knew what you wanted to capture in your photos since day one. From the look of your work I can tell there’s pain but I didn’t know it came from actual life experiences.

Noir: I honestly just wanted to turn my pain into power I think that’s why I picked up a camera I wanted to show beauty and pain the best possible way I can. In reality my past still haunts me from time to time but taking these photos definitely helps ease my mind.

Interviwer: last question dose the woman that hurt you all these years ago know about this story at all? And if not would you like to address her at all if she happens to read this article?